Sharing 5 tips how to find the Real You
What is the Real you? It means that everything that you say, think and do are in unison, they support each other and there is no dissonance. Then you live a harmonious life, a happy life, life that flows easily and radiates love. But when you say one thing, think another and do the third one, your life can turn pretty messy and complicated, probably quite unhappy one too.
For example, when you say that you are a very confident woman, a successful one and the one that stands out, but your inner dialogue says that you do not deserve the promotion, the good things, love and so on, you will start acting out from fear. So, in order to be aligned, we have to become real friends with ourselves and check our thoughts, actions, patterns, habits, beliefs and so on. How?
Tip no. 1: What about you is not you?
Last October we went to spend one month in Turkey and on the first day upon arrival my phone dropped into the sea, the second day my son broke my laptop. Great! What a fantastic opportunity to take time for myself and go through all my beliefs in all areas of my life. I mean everything that came up to me within that one month, I jotted down and rewrote them into the ones that serve me better. The new beliefs have to be believable to your brain.. For example, I used to rush all the time and could not sit down before everything was done (Which means never :D) because I truly believed the scarcity of time. It came from my Granny who lived during World War II and that really sounded right for that time, but surely not now. So I changed it to: “I am the master of my own time and I have enough time to do anything I wish to do.” I did this in all areas of my life, such as friendships, family, career, job, life in general health, sex etc.
Tip no. 2: Love VERSUS Fear
I wrote down major decisions I took out from fear and from love. Such as, moving from Crete to Ireland with a man I barely knew was definitely out of fear, as I did not want to go back to Edinburgh to clean up the mess. I was 21 that time. It was easier for me to move forward. Starting the coaching course, although it was expensive, was totally made out of love, because my heart knew it was the right thing for me. And it was. Sometimes, we think that the decision is not right for us, but it is actually fear talking. It could be a belief behind the fear, such as not taking the promotion because you believed you do not deserve it or you might fail… In this case, you have to look at the beliefs about yourself that you formed and are stopping you from living your truth.The real intuitive feeling when the thing or person or situation is right for you lasts the first seconds, after which your subconscious mind and the fears start sabotaging you.
Tip no. 3: Emotionally conscious living
Observe your emotions throughout the day. Set an alarm or reminder for every hour and jot down the emotion that you are experiencing right now. It can be anger, it can be joy, love, shame, anything and can also be a mix of them. At the end of the day you will know what type of emotions you are experiencing dominantly, over a week is even better. If it is something that brings you light and joy, then awesome! If it is something that is not making you happier, we need to look at where the emotion is coming from and how we can heal that part of you.
Tip no. 4: Living by the values
Know your values. If you do not know them, think, what feelings are bringing you most joy and harmony, what can you not live without and what totally brightens your world. Is it freedom? Is it something else? Try to come up with 5 of them at least. Freedom can also mean so different things to everyone, so make sure you write down what exactly it means for you. Some of my values are: Freedom means for me a lot of my time to do the things I want to do and spend them with family, friends and hobbies whenever I want. I also value simplicity of life, the easiness and the straightforwardness of it. Comfort is important to me as in feeling comfortable in my own skin, in the comfy chair, in a cozy restaurant. Family is the big one for me and also an exciting lifestyle , rich in emotions, surprises and everything new. It is important that you make your decisions based upon your values and make them priority. This will bring whole new meaning to your life.
Tip no. 5: Yes, No and Maybes
How many times do you say “Maybe” to your friend, yourself, to some situation? When these maybes stock up, your whole life becomes maybe. Try to understand and analyze why you are saying maybe and move it to either “Yes” or “No”. It will make your life so much more clearer and simpler. If you really do not want to go to your friend’s party because you feel that you need time alone, just say no, do not leave the word maybe hanging in the air. It will make your life so messy and bring your focus onto the wrong things.
When you finish this deep cleaning of your life, it will definitely change the quality of it. Be very kind to yourself when you do that, without judgment, guilt and shame. After all, you are putting so much effort to create a more meaningful life for yourself, you can be proud of yourself.
Love you much